Avenues of Counseling - Stop Being So Mean

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Avenues of Counseling and Mediation, LLC partnering with Nancy Lowrie and Associates 230 South Court, Suite 5 Medina, OH 44256 Phone: 330-723-7977 Fax: 330-725-5177 77 Millford Drive, Suite 201 Hudson, OH 44236 Phone: 330-650-4423 Fax: 330-655-4329 11565 Pearl Road, Suite 200 Strongsville, OH 44136 Phone: 440-846-0862 Fax: 440-846-0890	Home When to Seek Help Services Links	Therapists Hot Topics Directions Employment Opportunities
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	*Personally Speaking...* Personally Speaking is our quarterly newsletter in which we discuss mental health topics. The purpose of our newsletter is to inform and educate the community on personal issues, concerns facing our community, methods of treatment, and developments in related fields. It is Avenues intent to not only provide care for individuals but to promote and create a healthy environment for our families.
	Stop Being So Mean! Teenage Romance: Puppy Love or Addicted Love Disaster? The Many Faces of Anxiety Looking to the Mirror to Find Themselves ADHD vs. the Bipolar Child: Facts vs. Fiction Self-Mutilation vs. Suicide Attempts: The Tragedy of Mood Instability Coping with Trauma The Power of Perception *Sharpen Your* Saw this Spring**

	Stop Being So Mean! A typical scenario you have encountered may look like this: Jason, a 13 year old 7th grader, is in trouble yet again. He flipped off his teacher and called her a bad name after she politely asked him to change seats. She sends him down to the principal, AGAIN, for a behavioral intervention. Because he has had similar problems with other teachers as well as multiple demerits for walking the halls during class time, he gets an in school suspension. Jason has also been recently defying the rules at home, often "getting into it" with his father, mouthing off to his mother, and fighting with his siblings. Many teachers and parents would label Jason as a perpetually "bad" child who is unruly and oppositional. Very commonly, the adults in his life are probably fed up and frustrated, so they often treat Jason negatively even when he is behaving well. Despite the parents' and educator's efforts, Jason continues to act out, and the pattern continues, over and over. Jason isn't getting any better. Why? As a result of this pattern, many adults get so frustrated that they withdraw from the child and label them as inherently "bad", which in turn lowers the child's self esteem. Many adults mistake conduct problems for issues that are possibly much deeper and more serious. It is often difficult to discern a mild behavioral problem from a more serious behavioral or mood problem that warrants professional help. Familial Causes of Behavioral Problems Poor familial relationships Lack of parental attention Poor parenting practices including hostility and aggression towards child Parents who have their own psychiatric problems Parents with a history of their own delinquency Parents with a low frustration tolerance Coexisting Conditions/Disorders Related to Behavioral Problems Emotional problems Anxiety problems Body image concerns Eating disorders Drug and alcohol abuse Mental retardation Learning disorders Speech and language disorders Tourettes and tic disorders Major depression where the child often displays the following symptoms: marked irritability versus an actual expression of sadness sleep and appetite changes thoughts of death and dying expresses wishes to harm self or others either verbally, in written form or through drawings isolation from friends and family lack of interest in previously enjoyed activities sudden drop in grades Attention deficit difficulties Biological causes - including hormonal, blood sugar and neurological problems Other Related Causes Academic problems Self-esteem issues Social skills difficulties History of physical, sexual or emotional abuse Underlying anger that hasn't been expressed or discussed openly Recurrent physical complaints such as headaches, stomachaches, and frequent colds Adjustment difficulties to major life stressors including: divorce, death of a loved one, birth of newborn, financial problems, moving It is important to rule out the above coexisting conditions and problems prior to labeling a child with a behavioral problem. Often it is not clear whether the conditions and problems listed above actually caused the behavioral problems to occur, or vice versa. However, we do know that frustration, sadness, and anxiety from many of the above difficulties can easily be turned into anger, which can result in oppositional behavior in children and teens. For children, teens, and many adults, anger is much easier o express than underlying, deeper emotions. Many families encourage open expression of anger by simply modeling aggression through physical violence and yelling. Children often model what they see and can gain negative attention through throwing temper tantrums. Likewise, other families foster conflict avoidance, where children are taught to mask true feelings or not express negative feelings at all. Either model is potentially dangerous for children who do not have the skills to channel their negative feelings into positive outlets. Caution Serious behavioral problems warrant immediate attention regardless of the underlying cause. If a child displays any of these behaviors, it is possible that he or she could be diagnosed with Conduct Disorder: Repeated aggression to people and animals with little or no remorse Repeated truancy from school Repeated violation of house rules Repeated attempts to run away Often lies to avoid obligations and benefit themselves Deliberately engages in fire setting with intention of causing serious damage Deliberately destroys others' property Often bullies, threatens or intimidates others Often initiates physical fights Has used a weapon that can cause serious harm to others Has been physically cruel or torturing to animals or people Has stolen while confronting a victim Has forced someone into sexual activity Treatment Options It is important to recognize that the symptoms listed serve only as a guide. A trained mental health professional will be able to properly assess the child you are concerned about and find an appropriate treatment plan to fit their needs. Treatment Options for children and adolescents who have behavioral problems include: Individual therapy to help the child learn rules, limits and ways to express their feelings more appropriately Family therapy to assist in building better parent / child relationships and appropriate parenting skills A thorough physical exam to rule out medical causes of aggression and behavioral problems Nutritional and diet management education Sleep management education Social skills groups Specialized school interventions Institutional interventions (Avenues can provide a list of sources upon request) Current Programs for Summer 2004... Express Yourself is an ongoing, 10-week program beginning June 7th held on Monday's from 4pm to 5pm. This program is designed for adolescents (age 13-17), focusing on anger management, conflict resolution, self-esteem, stress management and expressing feelings. Most insurance plans are accepted. back to top
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